Home Improvement Halloween
by Colin Creevey
Summary: Halloween Special Updated once every year. Offscreen happenings from Season 2. The Taylor household is going through its annual Halloween warfare. Not exactly horror as it's supposed to be, but it's Halloween! Enjoy.
1. Chapter 1

**2006 Home Improvement Special**

**Chapter 1: Halloween I 1983**

**Brad's First Halloween **

_A/N: Here's the first special I'll be writing for Home Improvement, 2006. Brad's first Halloween. Jill thinks he's too young, but Tim doesn't. _

_Characters in this chapter: Brad Taylor- 3_

_Randy Taylor- 2_

_Jill Taylor- 26_

_Tim Taylor- 29 _

_Wilson Wilson Jr. – 41_

_Enjoy the chapter. One will come up each year. Isn't that great? _

"Hey honey, you'll never guess what I picked up after tool-selling!" Tim called from the front door.

Jill ran to her husband, "How was it?"

"I sold Binford's 6100 Power Drill 5 times, made a lot of money in months," Tim said. "But I also got this!"

Tim pulled from his bag a mask with a brain coming out.

"Honey, don't you think you're a bit too old for trick-or-treating?" Jill remarked.

"Not for me, it's for Brad," Tim said.

"Oh, Tim, we've talked about this, not till he's five!"

"C'mon honey, stop being fun's nemesis," Tim joked. "Brad can do this, I know I did!"

"Yeah, and started your reputation as a walking dynamite when you blew up your pumpkin candy holder!"

"Brad won't blow anything up," Tim assured her. "Just give him one chance, please. I trick-or-treated when _I _was three."

"Tim, Brad is not going out till next year, or the year after," Jill demanded.

"Jill, if Brad's not going, Randy is," Tim said, and actually started to the baby's room.

"TIM, NO!" Jill yelled.

Tim changed direction to Brad's room instead.

"Dad, are we going out?" Brad asked squeakily.

"Mom won't let you," Tim said sadly.

"Aw, man," Brad complained.

"It's alright son, we'll show her. We'll go out, and she'll never know. Just stay in your pin, and leave everything to me. I'm an expert at luring her out."

"Yeah, and on talking loudly too…"

"HEY!" Tim yelled in surprise. There was Jill standing in the doorway.

"Tim, there is no force that's making me letting you take Brad out tonight," Jill said firmly. "Forget about it!"

"Yeah, well maybe you just ruined our son's NIGHT!" Tim yelled as she turned and went back downstairs.

Later that day, before kids started going round houses, Jill went out to put the trash out.

"Is that you neighborette?"

"Hi Wilson," Jill said lowly.

"Something wrong Jill?"

"Well, Tim is arguing about taking Brad out," Jill explained.

"No," Wilson said disbelievingly. "Well I must say I agree with you completely."

"You do?"

"Yes, I think Brad's too young," Wilson began.

"That's what I tell Tim, but…"

"Plus, that makes the Salesman gay," Wilson continued.

Jill looked startled, and then laughed, "No Wilson, I mean trick-or-treating. Tim wants to take Brad trick-or-treating because he went when he was three."

"Then that's understandable," Wilson calmly. "See Jill I believe it was Bill Cosby who said _'If the new American father feels bewildered and even defeated, let him take comfort from the fact that whatever he does in any fathering situation has a fifty percent chance of being right.'_

"Wait a sec, Bill Cosby said that?"

"Yes indeedy Jill," Wilson said. "Even though Tim has a fifty percent chance of being right, my own opinion states that if he went out at three, it's natural to want his son to have the same. Men take after their fathers on almost everything on the inside. He wants to take Brad out to carry on the tradition."

"So, maybe I should let him take Brad out," Jill said quietly. "Thanks Wilson." She left inside, and up to Tim.

"Tim, I've been doing some thinking," Jill said. "Maybe I can let you take Brad out, as long as you stay in the neighborhood."

"And, you're not gonna change your mind?"

"No, I won't," Jill shook her head.

"So, you'd be wrong?" Tim added, grinning.

"It's those kinds of comments that _make _me change my mind," Jill said sternly. "Just stay in the area for this year, because he's very young."

"You know this means I'm taking Randy next year too," Tim stated.

"Tim, you know my rules, stick to them, and I'll stick to the deal we're making now!" Jill said warningly.

"Deal," Tim said.


	2. Chapter 2

**2007 Home Improvement Special**

**Chapter 2: Halloween 2 1992**

**The Prank War**

**Off-screen happenings from Season 2**

Jill rolled over in her sleep, early Halloween morning. The digital watch beside Tim's empty side of the bed read two-o-clock. A loud bang immediately sounded from outside, making Jill snap awake. "Tim," she called tiredly.

Tim knew she was awake, and this was why he was out of bed so early. Jill's ears picked a scratching from the window. She ignored it, and went back to sleep. Before she was asleep again, another scratch sounded. She got out of bed, annoyed. Not this early.

"Tim," she called again, out the window. She caught a green hand, feeling slimy. It had no body. "Tim!" she called.

"Yeah honey," Tim said from the bathroom. "Go back to bed."

"Wait, but then what's- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"And he got you," Wilson finished later that afternoon. "I feel for you Jill but as the poet"-

"Please Wilson, I don't have time for this," Jill said quickly. "Tim needs to be defeated. He went too far when he"- A loud scream came from the house. It was Randy's.

Jill looked at Wilson again, who guessed correctly, "Tim?"

Jill nodded. "It's amazing how he can plan for Brad's Halloween party and still find the time to scare the house half to death."

As Jill silenced his quoting once, Wilson decided not to comment. He nodded a good luck, and disappeared back inside. Jill turned and walked inside too. She had an idea…

"Tim," Jill's voice called from upstairs. "Can you come up and help with a tool?"

Tim smirked. Perfect. Just hours before the party. He seized the green hand he's been using to tease Jill all day. He'd love to open the door with the hand, and have another bodiless hand move towards her, even if it didn't scare her. He ran upstairs, grinning.

Out of the closet popped Al with Werewolf teeth. "WOOOOOOO!" Al tried howling lamely.

Tim stood there, with a what-the-hell look on his face. "Yeah, I thought you were one."

Brad seized Tim's shoulder from behind, but it still didn't work. Tim spun around and faced his older son, "You wanna try it one more time?"

"One move, and the tool gets it," a scratchy voice. Tim looked around again, expecting to see Jill. Instead, he saw a man with long hair on end, and a moustache. "Who are you supposed to be, Jill?"

"I know not anyone of that sexy name?" the man said scratchily. "I am a crazed tool fan."

"Oh, are you?" Tim grinned, willing to fall for it now.

"I am going to destroy this Tool if you don't give in to my demands," the scratched voice said.

"Hey, that's my Binford 6100 Power Chain Reciprocating Saw," Tim said. He then realized the seriousness of the situation. "Take whatever you want here, just don't touch my tools!"

Now was the climax. All Jill had to do was raise it up, above the stairs, as if about to drop it, and Tim would scream. Before she could do so though, a short figure fell from the attic.

"MARK!" she screamed in terror at the fake spider on his head.

"JILL!" Tim exclaimed. "I should've known only you would find your name sexy!" Tim yelled.

"MARK!" Jill yelled angrily.

"Sorry mom."

Brad started laughing at Jill. He clapped Mark's hand. "Awesome!"

"DAMN IT!" she yelled, and walked away, yelling, "This isn't over, Tim Taylor!"

Tim was left alone with Mark. "Well Mark, I'm afraid I'm going to have to prank you," Tim nodded, sadly walking towards him.

"Dad?"

"No, you know, I'm mad about pranking people and… no one is safe," Tim said hungrily.

Mark backed away, right into the open closet where Al popped from. He disappeared into the forest of clothes. Tim pulled the clothes out of the way, and yelled and jumped back when a spider jumped out at him.

Brad laughed ever harder. This wasn't Jill's victory. It was Mark's. Mark popped out from the closet, holding a fake spider. Tim shook his head angrily, playfully angrily, "I'm gonna get you, Mark. It doesn't matter you're my son."

Mark laughed his way trick-or-treating that night, telling Randy about what happened. Randy made a mental note to rub it in Tim's face when they got home. To make things even better… for one side… was when Mark went to bed that night, the same spider he used earlier jumped at him. He yelled and fell off the bed in fright, to meet another fake spider, jumping around.

Mark ran towards the door, to face a note:

_Dear unlucky victim, _

_You have been pranked. If you have a feeling of fright right now, it's because I put the fear of God in you. _

_Tim Taylor: King of Pranks _

"A toast to my victory," Tim announced, clinging glasses with Brad. "Long live Tim Taylor, King of Pranks!"

_A/N: I have the next couple chapters planned as well. Isn't that great? Can't wait till next year. I seem to be having a signature statement this year, 'the fear of God.' __It's a way of saying someone was scared out of hit wits. This special is my favorite one I wrote this year. I'll see ya on Christmas. _


	3. Chapter 3

**2008 Home Improvement Special**

**Chapter 3: Halloween 3 1994**

**The Prank War II**

**Off-screen happenings from Season 4**

_A/N: Halloween 1992: Tim had the last prank. Halloween 1993, as we all know, though Jill got him with Rose, Tim reclaimed the crown. Tim now has a reign of terror over Halloween. _

Mark was walking along the hall of the house in Detroit when he saw it. It scared the hell out of him. All he wanted was to get something from the microwave. He was alert, because Tim swore to prank whoever refused to join him the day before.

"Dad?"

There, on the floor, plainly dead by fright, judging by the pale face, wide empty eyes, and white foam on the mouth, was Tim Taylor and his oldest son Brad.

"DAD?"

The bodies didn't move. Could this be a trick? No. Not even Tim could fake his face, or the emptiness of the eyes. "RANDY! GET OVER HERE!"

"WHAT?"

Randy ran in, and stopped at the sight. Jill's voice came from upstairs. "What's going on?"

"Mom, dad's dead!" Randy said fearfully. Mark was actually beginning to sob.

Jill was just putting her dress on when she heard it… "AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

She rushed downstairs. Tim was up, face painted white, laughing over two cowering children. "What's going on?"

"AAHHHHH! Oh, it's just you mom."

"No duh, Mark!"

"He scared half to death!"

"Yeah, I didn't I?"

"It's not funny, dad! You swore not to prank me!"

"Not my fault he got you like a chicken!" Brad laughed.

"I'm not a chicken!" Mark yelled.

Brad danced around Mark, making a mock chicken sound. "STOP!"

"Guys, stop!" Jill yelled. "I forbid any pranks this Halloween. Have fun, why don't you?"

She left. "Way to ruin the fun, Brad!" Randy yelled.

"HEY!" Tim yelled. "She's right. It's over. I claim victory this year."

For the day, it seemed Tim did have victory. But, upstairs, in what was called their lair, aka Mark's room, two boys sat plotting.

"What's in it for me?" Randy questioned, that mischievous smile on his face.

"I'll…"

"All your candy," Randy demanded.

"What, no half," Mark suggested.

"All."

"Half."

"Ok, three quarters."

"Fine!"

"Deal." They shook on it, and got to planning.

Meanwhile, Tim was laying back on the couch beside Jill. "You know honey, it seems what we said really got to them."

"What _we said?" _Jill repeated.

"And the best part is, I claim another victory," Tim said, a contented sigh coming out.

"What do you mean, 'we'?" Jill said angrily. "You're the one who keeps promoting this kind of behavior. Tim, this is exactly what influences children, when the father"-

Tim wasn't paying attention. When Jill talked psycho, Tim watched television. After an hour, he got up, and retreated back to their room. Jill followed two minutes later.

"Now what?" Jill asked. "Bed?"

"I guess," Tim yawned. "Another good year's work."

"Yeah, whatever."

As Jill followed Tim into bed, a horrible smell entered their nostrils. "Ug, Tim what the hell did you DO IN THERE!"

"Wasn't me," Tim said in a plugged-nose-kind-of-way. He too, jumped out of bed. As the smell filled the room, Jill could see no man, not even Tim, could manage this.

Tim braved the bed after fifteen minutes of surprise, and looked on his side. There, to his surprise and great annoyance, was a deflated balloon. It looked very dirty. "A stink bomb."

"That's it, this is the last!" Jill declared. "Leave it. Don't you dare bother with them, or else. They had their fun. You had yours."

"You call this fun," Tim said, holding the balloon up. "They got us both."

"It's your fault."

"Now they're gonna get me all next year too," Tim whined.

"No, they won't," Jill said. "They had their fun too."

So firm was Jill's decision, she went back into bed, this time to actually lay down before anything went off again. Suddenly, another sound went off. It was a loud farting noise.

"Honey!"

"Whoopie Cushion!" Jill raged. She looked as though she was about to breathe fire, but then, quite calmly, she said, "Next year, we're doing them in together."

"Really?"

"Ohh yeah."

_Dear mom and dad,_

_You've been pranked. Dad for his reign of terror. Mom for being married to him. Leave this be, and no one will get hurt, 'cause we're working together this time. _

_Mark and Randy_

_A/N: See ya on Christmas. _


End file.
